


This Time Is Different

by dizzy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 02:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5522420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is an upcoming youtuber. He has little views, but that all changes when a man with the user 'AmazingPhil' notices his talent. Phil, being an internet sensation decides to call this fresh talent - Dan - and invite him over to his house to talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Time Is Different

**Author's Note:**

  * For [momstiel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/momstiel/gifts).



Phil's lucky. He's lucky, and he knows it. He's reminded every time he looks at his subscriber count on youtube, every time he checks his twitter and sees his mentions full of people who don't know him but still love him, every time he opens his email and finds messages from friends and fans alike. 

Youtube barely feels like work most days, but he's probably making more money off of it than most of his schoolmates are with their degrees. Barely out of school a year and he can afford a flat on his own in Manchester and the chance to travel all kinds of cool places, from Ireland to America - just because some people think his face is worth watching on their computer screens. He's intensely grateful of his good fortune and he's more than happy to try and pass some of that along if he can. 

That's what today is about. He likes to give back and he's done this a couple times already, met with people just starting out to try and give them some advice and insight into what really goes into youtube as a career. 

He's meeting a boy called Dan. Dan has a pretty enough face to get a few thousand followers right off the bat and a clever enough sense of humor to build on that well, if you ask Phil. And he did ask Phil, which is the whole point of it all. He asked after Phil left a few comments, because Phil likes to do that (and he also kind of likes the way it makes him feel when people get all happy over just a comment from him). 

*

Dan's in Manchester for the weekend on a university outing, his last email explained. His gap year is coming to a close and he’s got to make a decision on where he wants to go. His parents have given him money for a hotel room and he's got an appointment on Monday to have a look around the school, but he's free on Sunday evening.

Phil gives him the address to the Starbucks closest to the train station and gets there fifteen minutes before he needs to, just because he likes being early. He spots Dan as soon as Dan walks in the door, taller than Phil had thought and looking about as sure of himself as a lost puppy watching traffic. 

His expression brightens a little when Phil raises a hand to wave hello. "Wow," he says, as he slides into the seat across from Phil. "You're real." 

"Unless I'm not," Phil says. "Could be a robot. Or a ghost. Or a ghost robot in disguise." 

"Would you be a robot in disguise as a ghost, or a ghost in disguise as a robot?" Dan picks up the thread without hesitation. 

"I'm a ghost of a person that died a tragic death and was reincorporated into a robot," Phil explains. "Who is now assuming the disguise of a human." 

"In that case, I'll just compliment your disguise because you are definitely achieving the realistic human look," Dan says. "I can hardly find more than, oh, a couple faults." 

"Oh, now you've gotta," Phil says. "Come on, let me have them." 

"Skin's too pale, for one," Dan says. "You're giving away your ghostly roots with it." 

"Noted." Phil nods. "I'll have my robot technician tweak the color settings." 

The moment lapses into silence so they can both grin like idiots. Phil's got no idea why, but his heart is suddenly racing a little. 

"I'm going to go get a coffee," Dan says. "Mind if I leave my stuff here?" 

He's got a bag he came in with, and he leaves it propped right there against his seat, trusting that Phil will keep it safe. 

* 

They're supposed to talk about youtube. 

They end up talking about anything but. 

They talk about what Dan wants to study in school and Phil's degrees and what it's like living away from home. They talk about Muse and television and things from their childhood and dreams and youtube comes up tangentially but this is far from the stilted small talk interview sessions Phil had with the girl he met a couple weeks ago, or the boy before that. 

This is - everything. They finish their coffees and Phil's so desperate for Dan not to go that he offers to buy them another. 

* 

The second coffees have come and gone. Enough time has passed that they've both had to excuse themselves to the toilet once. Outside it's grown dark but Phil's never felt more alight. His face hurts from smiling and his heart hasn't stopped doing that weird wobbling thing in his chest and he loves how well Dan's listening even when Phil's tongue is tripping and stumbling all over itself with everything he suddenly wants (needs) to say. 

It helps that Dan's the same. Phil has really no way of knowing if Dan's like this with everyone, but he feels like Dan's laying bare in front of him and it makes Phil want to just gather him up and protect him from every fear that he has. 

He has to reign in the urge to reach out more than once, and at some point he just - stops stopping himself. The first time his hand covers Dan's, Dan looks at him like Phil just stole his breath away. His smile changes, something deeper, and Phil isn't sure when their chairs got so close but he can feel Dan's knee against his and he's lightheaded with how perfect this moment actually is. 

* 

The coffee shop is closing. 

They've stayed so long and it's not until they're outside that Dan lets out a shaky laugh and says, "Fuck, I've got to find a hotel room." 

"Stay with me," Phil says, and on some level he realizes that he's twenty-three and Dan's only eighteen and they've only just met and he probably sounds like such a creep. 

But Dan's eyes do that melty thing and his voice cracks a little when he says, "Really?" 

"Yeah," Phil says. He takes Dan's hand in his because he just really, really bloody wants to and he hopes it'll make Dan feel better. Right now he'd give anything, do anything, to coax a smile out of Dan. "Please. I'd feel bad that I kept you out all night. And... and I'm just not quite ready to say goodbye yet." 

"Phil." Dan says his name like it's something warm and precious, and oh - there's that smile. It's such a nice smile. "Yeah. That'd be great, then." 

* 

"I've only got one bed, so I'll sleep on the couch and let you have it." It's hard for Phil to even get the words out because he doesn't actually want to go to bed at all. He doesn't want to waste the hours sleeping and wake up to Dan having to leave. The idea actually makes him a little sick and maybe later he'll take time to try and figure out if it's very good or very bad that he's only met this boy less than twelve hours ago and the idea of saying goodbye makes him feel this way. 

"I can't take your bed," Dan protests. 

They tussle verbally back and forth, and in the end the matter isn't decided at all, just distracted away from because they both agree that they're not really tired anyway. Phil orders a pizza and tells Dan to pick out a movie and they sit much closer than they really need to and don't pay any attention at all to the film. 

* 

The credits are rolling and Phil can tell that Dan's barely awake but Dan hasn't mentioned going to sleep yet and Phil can't bring himself because he feels drunk on how Dan's head has slipped onto his shoulder and the way their hands found each other's again. 

Phil realizes how strange it is to be holding hands with someone that he just met, without a word exchanged about it, but Dan's fingers are long and warm and grip Phil's so nicely. Phil rubs his thumb along Dan's and turns his head and presses a kiss to Dan's temple, breathing in the scent of skin and faint shampoo and a day spent traveling. "Dan," he whispers, heart somewhere in his throat. 

Dan lifts his head and looks at Phil with sleepy eyes. He doesn't say anything but his lips part a little and he smiles a tiny smile and then Phil is - 

Being kissed. 

Being kissed by Dan, not nearly as hesitantly as Phil might have expected. Phil breathes in and kisses back, letting his hand cup Dan's cheek. They're both tired but the moment is electric and when it comes to a natural end Dan tucks his head right back on Phil's shoulder. "Can I sleep in your bed with you?" He asks, like he's embarrassed to while still looking at Phil. 

"I'd love that," Phil says. The truth is that he's not sure he could let Dan go right now if he had to. 

* 

They don't have sex, but they do lay side by side in bed and kiss and touch and talk until their voices are whispered rasps and their lips are numb. It's far closer to dawn than dusk when they finally give in and fall asleep. 

* 

In the morning, Dan's phone goes off. Phil holds him tight at first and then lets him go, because with morning comes some sense of propriety and he feels like giving Dan some space is the right thing to do. 

So Dan showers and gets dressed but he does so quickly and the moment he's done and ready he's standing there in Phil's kitchen and there's hesitation all over his face that Phil just can't stand. He puts his box of cereal down and walks over and pulls Dan into a hug. 

Dan holds back like he's afraid if he lets go at all, Phil might just disappear. 

"I have to go soon," Dan says, and he's really not that much smaller than Phil but he feels like he is with the way he's curling into Phil's arms. 

"What time is your train back?" Phil asks. 

What he really wants to say is, _Can you change it?_

*

Dan does change his ticket. 

He can't stay another night but he calls his mum and tells her that he's lost track of time exploring the campus. They eat together in a little restaurant right down the street from Phil's flat and hold hands under the table. 

They’ll call it their first date, later on down the road. Right now they’re both too scared to ask it and certainly too scared to declare it. They seem to be doing better with touch than talk, because there’s no ambiguity in how Phil’s arm stays around Dan or how Dan leans into Phil. 

They don't go back to Phil's flat. Phil doesn't want Dan to think it's all about that, and with the way he's feeling and the way Dan's looking at him he thinks if they're alone in a room with his bed it'll become that anyway. 

It's strange, because it's never really bothered him before. He's met people doing youtube, met people in university, and he's never had any real qualms about exploring mutual attractions. But this is Dan and everything about Dan just seems different and special. 

Sex can complicate things and this feels complicated enough already. He won't risk more until he figures out what it is and what it means. 

* 

Phil goes with Dan to the train station. They both pretend their eyes aren't wet as they hold each other and kiss goodbye. 

They've got each other's phone numbers, and Phil's already added Dan on all his social media accounts, but it doesn't do much to soothe the empty ache in Phil as he walks away alone. 

He counts the hours until Dan's back at home and it doesn't even start to get a little easier until he's staring at a Skype call in the process of connecting. 

"Hi," he says, smiling like it's Christmas Day at the sight of Dan's pixelated face. "Is it stupid if I say I miss you already?"

Dan smiles right back. "Not stupid at all."

* 

A year on and Dan's face is the first thing Phil sees in the morning and the last thing he sees at night. He still wouldn't have it any other way. 

Dan says he doesn't believe in love at first sight. He says he believes in chemistry and attraction and compatibility, and that it's just supremely lucky that they met and had all three. 

Phil doesn't really care what Dan has to tell himself to make it all make sense. He's just glad they have it, and each other.


End file.
